Who I Am
by Marie Whi Mitshue
Summary: YAOI! 1x2x1, the first songfic I ever wrote. Nothing very naughty - slow dancing and a little kissy-kissy!


"Who I Am" BY Whi Mitshue  
  
Author's Note: This is a songfic -the first one I ever wrote - so be kind!  
  
Yaoi, 1x2/2x1. Nothing very naughty. Shounen ai, and a little kissy-kissy!!  
  
Don't own the characters, or the song, belong to respective owners; the lyrics are to "Iris" by the GooGoo Dolls, and I got'em by listening to the song and writing them down, so some may be wrong. Gomen. And I LOVE this song.  
  
Enjoy, feedback is cool (Authors adore feedback!), if you flame me, I'll just roast marshmallows! kumiko_chan@gundamwing.net  
  
//thoughts//  
  
*emphasis* (the more **, the greater the emphasis)  
  
##flashback##  
  
song lyrics  
  
***  
  
Duo Maxwell didn't know what he was doing at this club. Well, he *did* know what they were doing - rumors had reached the gundam pilots ears that young members of Oz hung out here, and perhaps they could gain a little info from loose lips.  
  
But the club was mixed : gay, straight, bi. Duo had turned down five drinks from guys, four from girls, and at least ten other, um, more direct offers from both sexes in the last twenty *minutes*! How was he supposed to last the night?!  
  
Duo leaned back in his chair and sipped at his Bud. Apparently, this place didn't care how old you were; if you could reach up and take it off the counter, you were old enough.  
  
He glanced around at his companions: Chang Wufei was scowling darkly up at the bar, dressed in tight, faded jeans and a black tank top under a soft, scarlet shirt; apparently his bottom had been pinched by the boy next to him, the one dressed in skin-tight patent leather, his hand still on Wufei's behind. Duo smirked. Boy, was that guy barking up the *wrrooong* tree, and Duo was sure that the Shen Long pilot would make him *thoroughly* regret it.  
  
Quatre Raberba Winner and Trowa Barton sat close together, Trowa's hand on the back of Quatre's chair, his fingers tangled in the Sandrock's pilot's platinum blond hair. Both wore dark grey trousers and tight, short- sleeved shirts, - //no, they weren't a couple,// Duo smirked - Quatre's a pale blue that made his sea-blue eyes look more vivid, and Trowa's a brilliant green that was outshone by the emerald color of his eyes. Er, make that eye. As always, you could only see one of Trowa's eyes under his long sweep of light brown bangs.  
  
Heero sat across the table from Duo, one slender, long-fingered hand wrapped around a glass of scotch on the rocks, cobalt blue eyes staring out over the dimly-lit dance floor.  
  
Duo fingered the tight, black leather of his pants, brushed a hand over the dark purple, long-sleeved, button-up velour shirt he wore. His usual braid was plaited with a ribbon that exactly matched the shade of the shirt, and all that deep purple brought out all the depths and shades of purple, ameythst, and lavender in his violet eyes.  
  
The clothes, well, they were his, but. Duo eyed Heero sitting across the dim-lit table, and remembered earlier in the evening:  
  
##Duo was sprawled across his black-silk-sheeted bed, bemoaning the fates that had decreed the five gundam pilots would have to go to that club in a half hour. Besides the fact that it was a . mixed. club. he had nothing to wear!  
  
There was a light knock on the door, and Duo sat up, groaning. "Come in."  
  
Heero pushed open the door, a bundle over his arm. He was already dressed for the club, and Duo straightened completely, nearly falling off the bed in shock. Heero looked. gorgeous! He wore tight, black leather pants, black boots, and a dark blue, long-sleeved, button-up velour shirt that brought out the color of his eyes incredibly. A little silver earring, center a sparkling, dark blue gemstone, rode in his left earlobe. And he had done something to his hair; it still hung in his face but now it was. tousled, deliberately messy, as if he had just tumbled out of bed and was more that ready to tumble back in. Duo's fingers itched with a sudden, unexpected impulse to push it back, see if it felt as soft as it looked.  
  
Duo pushed those weird thoughts right out of his head, astonished at himself.  
  
"Hey, Heero-kun, you look grrr-eeeaaaat!!"  
  
Heero just looked at him - then tossed him the bundle. He caught it reflexively, and stared at it: tight-looking, black, leather pants, just like Heero's, polished black boots, just like Heero's, a long-sleeved, button-up, velour shirt just like Heero's but for the fact it was a rich, dark purple rather than a deep, dark blue. And a. a long, matching ribbon to plait in his braid. Even underwear, a pair of silky, deep purple boxers!  
  
//God,// Duo thought, stunned and oddly touched, //He even thought of something for my hair!// The ribbon for his hair touched him the most. //It was just so thoughtful, and. and sweet! Who is he, and what has he done to the real Heero Yuy?// Duo thought.  
  
The real Heero Yuy stood before him, looking gorgeous and hot - then he scowled that oh-so-familiar scowl.  
  
"Hurry up and get dressed. We are leaving in a little while." He turned and started to leave.  
  
"Heero." Duo said, and Heero stopped, back on, one hand on the doorknob.  
  
"Hn." Heero grunted back at him, not turning.  
  
"Thanks. I love'em!"  
  
". . ." Heero left without a backward glance.  
  
Used to that, Duo just shrugged and began to change. What he wasn't used to was the thoughtfulness Heero had displayed in getting him these clothes -and they were awesome clothes!##  
  
Duo snapped back to reality as Quatre and Trowa pushed past the back of his chair, heading towards the dance floor hand-in-hand, as music started.  
  
//Well, at least somebody's enjoying this.// Duo thought, grinning at the sight of his two friends, as Trowa enfolded the smaller, blond pilot in his arms.  
  
The music was a little slow, lots of guitar, with a good beat, nice. kinda old, though.  
  
And I'd give up forever to touch you  
  
Suddenly, Heero was standing before him, hand held out to Duo. His eyes, almost black, barely a hint of blue visible in the low light, glittered with some undefinable emotion, before his usual barriers rose back in place.  
  
"Dance with me?" He asked, voice soft.  
  
Duo gaped up at him - then decided this must be just a way to keep from standing out. After all, if they just sat at the table and refused all comers, then they'd stick out. Why come to a club if you weren't gonna get up from the table, after all?  
  
"Uh, sure." Duo had to swallow before he spoke, and Wufei, who had just returned to the table with his fresh drink, looked over at him sharply. The bum-pincher was on the floor near the bar, mouth bloodied, staring at the bloody tooth in his hand.  
  
Heero took Duo's hand, lacing his fingers with his own, and led him out to the dance floor.  
  
As they threaded their way through the slowly moving couples, Duo realized his breathing had sped up. He also realized that, with their similar outfits, and their familiarity with each other, they looked as much like an adoring couple as Quatre and Trowa!  
  
It seemed as if every nerve in his body had been rerouted to his hand, was concentrating on Heero's hand in his. He could feel the warmth of his skin, the calluses on Heero's palm, the surprising softness of the uncallused skin.  
  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
  
Duo blushed as he caught Quatre's teasing look, as he and Heero passed the entwined Sandrock and Heavyarms pilots.  
  
Heero pulled the slightly shorter American into his arms. He lifted Duo's hands, twining them loosely around his strong neck, and looped his own arms lightly around Duo's waist.  
  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
  
As they danced, slowly, ever so slowly, Heero drew him closer.  
  
Duo let him, heart pounding. They were so close that their bodies were touching, brushing against each other, and Duo felt one of Heero's hands slowly slide up his back. He waited, wondering what Heero was up to, wondering how far Heero would go to keep their cover, or how far *he'd* go to keep their cover, or. what if Heero meant it?!  
  
Duo didn't know which thought made his heart pound more, just that it was.  
  
And I don't want to go home right now  
  
Heero's hand slid up into the hair at Duo's nape, just above the ribbon-twined braid. Duo shivered, eyes wide, as those fingers stroked over his nape.  
  
//I. I liked that!// Duo thought in amazement. //And. and I like being in his arms. I like this. I.!!??  
  
Heero's hands were urging him even closer, with gentle, but insistent, pressure. Duo lifted startled, nervous violet eyes up to look into Heero's cobalt dark eyes.  
  
One corner of Heero's mouth lifted in a tiny, reassuring smile.  
  
"Don't worry, Duo." Heero lowered his head to whisper in Duo's ear, who shivered again as the Japanese pilot's warm breath brushed over his skin. "I won't force you to do anything you don't want to."  
  
//What did Heero mean? What does *he* want to do with me that he felt the need to reassure me?! And what do *I* want to do with him?// Naughty images of him and Heero flitted through his head and he blushed, shocked at himself.  
  
But Heero's hands were still gently trying to pull him closer.  
  
And Duo realized he wanted to. With a sigh, he dismissed all the doubts and worries and nervous thoughts that were scrambling around in his head and let himself just *feel*. He pressed himself to Heero, twining his arms more securely around Heero's neck and shoulders, and bent his head to lay his cheek against Heero's collarbone. He caught a quick glimpse of a goofy grin on Quatre's face - both he and Trowa were watching them - before he closed his eyes and just let himself enjoy the feel of Heero's muscled chest against his, the feel of his thighs brushing his, the strong circle of his muscled arms around him.  
  
Heero's cheek was against his hair, and the hand at his nape caressed his skin softly, delicately, as if afraid he would bolt.  
  
And all I can taste is your sweetness  
  
Then Heero was lifting his head with a gentle finger beneath his chin.  
  
Duo opened his eyes slowly. Heero's face was so close, eyes gleaming with. with. oh my! Duo knew how to recognize desire and Heero's eyes were full of it. Heero *wanted* him! This was no game to keep their cover.  
  
Duo's breath caught as Heero's burning gaze lowered to Duo's mouth, and he waited, anxious for Heero to do something. Kiss him or.not. No matter what he was feeling - and *that* was all one confused jumble - he couldn't make the first move. He just *couldn't*.  
  
And all I can breathe is your life  
  
Heero's head dipped lower, but he stopped, mouth half an inch from Duo's. Then ever so slowly, giving Duo ample time to pull away, he kissed him.  
  
Duo gasped against his mouth and then he melted against him. Tingles jolted through him at the touch of Heero's mouth to his. And. it was such a sweet, tender kiss. Duo hadn't known Heero had this depth of tenderness in him.  
  
Sooner or later it's over  
  
And I don't want to miss you right now  
  
Heero lifted his head, breaking the kiss.  
  
"Duo?" He said softly , turning his name into a full and complete question, patiently awaiting his reaction.  
  
"Heero." He managed to make his name a full and complete answer, lifting his chin as well, his bright eyes asking to be kissed again.  
  
Heero's cobalt eyes lit up and then he kissed him again, this time a little more firmly, a little more passionately.  
  
Quatre and Trowa were beaming at them, and Wufei was scowling at them from his lonely seat at their otherwise empty table, but neither of them noticed.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am  
  
When they separated this time, both were breathing faster.  
  
Duo, feeling bolder, surer, reached up and brushed those thick, tousled, dark bangs back, like he had wanted to since Heero had come into his room earlier that evening. His fingertips traced along Heero's temple, down his cheek, along the line of his strong jaw.  
  
"Heero. I. I." Duo stammered.  
  
Heero placed a hand over Duo's mouth, stilling it.  
  
"Shhh, Duo. It's all right. I'm not asking anything of you aren't ready or willing to give." His voice was as Duo had never heard it before, soft and patient.  
  
"Heero." Duo leaned into him again, lifting his head to be kissed again.  
  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
  
All the moments of truth in your life  
  
Duo realized, as they pulled away for air, Heero lowering his head to Duo's shoulder, that he'd always felt *something* special towards the Japanese pilot. He just hadn't know how to deal with it, so he'd buried what he could, and smothered the rest in friendship and jokes.  
  
When everything feels like the movies  
  
Yeah ya bleed just to know you're alive  
  
He recognized, with a start, what that ache and pain in his stomach had been whenever Heero had come back all beaten and bruised up: stark fear, terror for some one he. He knew he had worried about him, but he had never known why the sight of Heero, bloodied and bruised, made his stomach feel like a bomb had gone off inside him.  
  
And the time Wing had self-detonated, and he had thought Heero had been dead, for months. God, he had felt like his world had crumbled. and he hadn't known why he had felt that bad. If Quatre hadn't been there, well, Duo didn't know what he would have done. He had just figured it was because Heero was his best friend, and that he had seen one too many people close to him die horribly, but now, in hindsight, here in Heero's arms. he knew why. In hindsight, it was so crystalline-clear that Duo felt like an idiot for not realizing his feelings before.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
"Heero?" Duo whispered against the dark hair pressed to his cheek.  
  
"Hn?" Heero murmured against Duo's neck, his hands rubbing soft circles over Duo's lower back.  
  
"Heero, I. I, uh, I. care for, um,. I mean, uh, that is, I, uh, like." Duo sighed and started again as Heero's head lifted from his shoulder, and those cobalt eyes looked at him. "I. I do like you Heero. very, very much." He blushed a little, "I never realized what it was until. now."  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
A slow, incredibly tender, delighted smile curved Heero's sensual mouth, and Duo stared, captivated. Heero, with his normal scowl, was beautiful. Heero *smiling*, was. irresistibly bewitching, enthralling.  
  
"Duo. you know now how I feel. obviously." He added dryly, and shifted his lower body to press tightly against Duo's. Duo gasped a shaky, aroused breath as he felt Heero's growing erection press against him. "I. just wanted. needed. you to know. You're. a part of me now, Duo. I couldn't get you out of my mind and. uh, h..heart - "Heero was beginning to look adorably flustered, and Duo bit his lip to stop from giggling in the middle of Heero's declaration; that just wouldn't do. "- You've made me a better person by being my friend, made me face my humanity, unlocked my compassion and. you're. you're a part of who I am, Duo."  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
"Oh, Heero." Duo breathed, then pulled him as close as humanly possible, kissing him forcefully, passionately.  
  
Heero returned the kiss the same way, and a pleased giggle in Quatre's unmistakable soft voice sounded close by them, but they barely noticed it.  
  
"Heero, you're a part of who I am too. ever since." Duo grinned self- deprecatingly. "I don't know why it took this long for me to realize it!" He smiled nervously, up into Heero's waiting face. "I.love you." Duo whispered, then his face brightened in wonder. "I really *do* love you! You're a part of who I am..."  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
Heero pressed his face to Duo's neck, his breath puffing raggedly against his skin, and his arms tightened around Duo's slender body. "Duo. I never hoped. never allowed myself to hope you could. love me." His voice was muffled against Duo's neck, shaking with emotion.  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
"Duo. Ai shiteru.eien ni. you are a part of me. you made me face my emotions, not just live by them. You made me who I am."  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
And then they were kissing again, lost in each other. The Perfect Soldier and the Shinigami found out who they were in each other's arms.  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
***********************OWARI*************************  
  
Sap. I say again, pure, unadulterated sap. But, awww... I love the song, and this just popped into my head one day when listening to it. Everything I do comes back to Gundam Wing! Hmmm, that's scary. *shrugs* oh, well, I could be obsessed with worse things. 


End file.
